I don't know how many of you can relate to the following. But maybe there's someone out there tonight who's feeling a little alone too because he or she has been cursed with spectacular calves. See normal-calfed people, it's not easy being blessed with calves, that can only be described as "specimens".

Quick story... Once, this kid at the renascence fair starting tugging on my right calf. He thought it was Thor's Hammer.

I told you it was a quick story. And that didn't actually happen. But the point is, I would completely understand if it did. I'm at the fair a lot, in shorts. And these are some meaty snacks. Besides, with the few extra lbs I have one me, that marbling is delish!

Anyway. The problem is... We're living in an ab's guy world, ya know. Its tough. At night, I close my eyes reeeal tight I try to imagine an alternate universe where me and my calves are getting a lot more ass. There are probably quite a few of those universes. Just not this one... Just not this one.

(And no, this is not a pathetic cry for the aforementioned "ass". Me, my Astroglide, and quite a few pieces of awfully lucky furniture around the house are just fine)

- Fisher